Who is the servanTeacher?

The following poem was written on November 16, 2023, at a NCTE session with Peter Kahn, teacher and facilitator of some pretty amazing poetry work with his students. I recommend checking out their book and the website linked in the pictures below.

The founders and key players of Respect the Mic – such a cool thing to meet them!!!

At this session, the audience was invited to write a poem. The prompt: “Write about a time you first knew you were meant to be a teacher.” While this doesn’t explain everything about who I am, I do feel it provides you, dear reader, with the most important information about me: When I became a teacher, I stepped into a life beyond the deepest excitement I’d ever imagined, because I stepped into the life God made me for.

Listen to me read “At The Table” at the link above.

At The Table

Sitting at the table
Tan builder-grade carpet under tan hand-me-down oval table with the off-white linoleum top
Chairs that were given to me by the teenage parents in the apartment two floors below
They were so generous, her sweet blue eyes and his awkward kindness
I recovered the seats when we bought this house

I’m sitting at the table my childhood baby-sitters gave me
Tapping away on our refurbished laptop
And my soul is vibrating

I’m at the table, doing homework
Staring at the screen
Writing a response to a discussion prompt on Blackboard
Educational Research - a class I did NOT particularly like
Tap tap tap ta-tap
The clash of Aragorn's sword and Frodo's shrieks tickling my ears from the projection screen over my left shoulder, 
but I’m zoned.

I'm sitting at the table
And my soul is an earthquake

My heart is a bass speaker in my high school boyfriend’s trunk
My core shudders in rhythm with each beat
I feel cold
Excitement trickles down my arms like I can create goosebumps on command, It’s like I’ve had four too many shots of espresso. 
My stomach turns and it 
excites me.
I feel strong.
I feel weightless.

I’m sitting at the table of pure elation
And I’m lifting off.  
I’m floating-
No, I’m soaring!
Like the cold wind is ripping off the burden of self-consciousness
Like my arms are going to stretch out and I’m going to take flight and change the world and make a huge impact and I’m going to change LIVES! and my breath is cold in my tingling chest and I’m sitting at my table and I know.

I know.

I know 
I’m meant to be a teacher.

I breathe, I sit up straighter at my table, and I say, 
“I can’t wait.”

I say this to my husband, 
Who nods,
Continues scrambling eggs in the blackened 8” frying pan from last week’s GoodWill rummage
Lumbers through our Saturday morning.

But I’m still sitting at our table, and I’m still flying.
“I can’t wait to be a teacher.”

When I became a teacher, I stepped into a life beyond the deepest excitement I’d ever imagined, because I stepped into the life God made me for.


Comments

2 responses to “Who is the servanTeacher?”

  1. Andi’s Dad Avatar
    Andi’s Dad

    I believe that for some of us, or maybe all of us, everything we see or do, all the experiences in our lives are building blocks used by God to accomplish a purpose He has set out for us. When we complete that task, or maybe just when we experience the attempt, God uses that to prepare us for the next step in His plan. When I look at Andi’s life, I can see the parts and pieces that have come together to make her the gifted teacher she is, and her wish to help all teachers, parents, and students become more effective as a natural progression of her. I am continually awed by her innate love for all people, and I am humbled by her compassion. If my sole God given purpose in life was to be her father, I feel blessed beyond measure to have had that opportunity, and I pray I was worthy to the task.

    1. Thanks, Dad. Love you!!!